Thursday, March 19, 2009

The Final Change

I looked back over all my blogs that I have written, as a whole and I noticed that quite often and most of the time I write about changes and making life changing decisions. And after seeing that I took a second to think about if thats all I could write about...in the end yes was my answer. See life is about changes and decisions, that's what it's all about in fact. Everyday you get up and you have to decide: what am I going to wear to do, what am I going to do today? Even though these are ittle decisions to be made they are still life changing decisions none the less. And then often times your have to make huge, giganic decisions, decisions that will definately have a huge impact on your life. Personally I hate having to make decisions...it's definately not my strong suit, but right now I'm at a point in my life were I'm going to be making a lot of decisions. Like where should I go to college, what classes should I take, where should I move to? These are such mind boggling questions. Today I have to make a final change in my life, it's going to be probably one of the hardest decisions I'll ever have to make, but it needs to be done. And once the deed is done my life will be changed forever.
Today I felt like writing quotes of happiness due to the fact that all things considered I am a very happy girl. I have lots of friends and lots of love in my life, and that's all I really ask for! All that means so much for me.

* "Love me if u wantLike me, thats fineBut if i turn u downTake a numba and get in line."

* "you can always start liking someone over and over again**~~~** but you can never stop loving someone."

* "A sharp tongue can slit its own throat."

* "Good TimesBring Back Good Memories."

* "Do not go where the path may lead.Instead go where there is no path and leave a trail

* "I do it because I can**I can because I want to**I want to because you said I couldn't."

* "If u try to chase two rabbits at once you'll end up losing them both."
Yea.......

* "A little cow wonders......"what will become of me with a name like patty?"

* "Pedestrian is just another word for speedbump!"

And there it is 9 wonderful quotes that can make a persons day, just kidding but maybe who knows. All I know is 3 things: 1. Im addicted to quotes. 2. Im addicted to poems. 3. Im addicted to writing quotes and poems. It's the sad truth!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

"Im at war with the love of my life"

Have you ever had to make way to many decisions in a short period of time? Have you ever felt like you couldn't make the decision? Have you felt like you had to give up because you couldn't make that decision? And when trying to make the decision, you found yourself stuck, lost and confused? Well I feel like that right now unfortunetly and it sucks so bad. The only thing getting me through it, is that I know whatever decision I make the world still spins and the world don't end. I know that I'm going to have to make a lot of huge decisions in my life, life changing decisions in fact. And I know I'm not going to want to make a lot of them, but I just continue to hope for the best.
Anyway today I'm going to put some love poems in here, one because I haven't put up that much poetry lately and two because I'm in a loving mood! Soo here we are:

* "There are so many words I cannot say, when I look into your eyes. I want to be able to tell you one day, but I'm left speechless every time that I try.
You must have stumbled across the key, and discovered so much more. You found a hidden place in me, you found my heart and opened the door. And I cried in pain of losing my dear friend.
Will it ever be the same again? If it passes will it be the end? I realized it was worth so much, as I lie in bed that night. So I allowed my soul to be touched, without even putting up a fight. Are my eyes deceiving me, when I see you standing there? Are you playing games, just to prove I care?
You speak my name in a prelude, in a reference to love, with such loving attitude, as if it were a message from above. With the palms of your hands pressed firmly against mine, a white doves lands, and the sun begins to shine.
Someday I will see, though that day has not come yet. You'll say you love me, but will you ever forget? If that happens and my spirit dies, if my emotions drop, will you want to hold me when I cry? Or will the love just suddenly stop? We can't expect to fall in love and never cry.
You'll stay and play your part, but after the beauty starts to die, will your footprints still be on my heart? Though it would be hard to say goodbye, your friend I'll always be, as long as we always try, to keep the friendship between you and me.
The letter I will not send will casually inquire, how could you have brought it to an end? I was your one desire. After this life is over, you'll be one person I know I'll miss.
It'll be too late to start over, and so I leave you with this... I'll hold you for a lifetime, if you'll just hold my hand. We could have a wonderful time, in the days we have not yet planned."
By: B.K. + A.G.
* "I never knew there would be a better tomorrow, But you've come into my life and taken away all my sorrow. My days of sadness are a thing of the past, Because I have found true love at last. My days of emptiness are gone for good, Because you fill a void in my heart that you should. You've opened a window, You've shown me the light, And my love for you will continue to burn bright."
By: Yvonne Warren
* "On the wings of an eagle, My love for you flies. Soaring higher and higher, And touching the skies. I reached up above, And pulled a star from the sky. To place it within, Your precious minds eye. To dwell there forever, As my love for you. On the wings of our love, Enduring and true. I honor you my darling, With all that I am. Please darling please, Will you be my man? There are so many things, My heart wants to say. I love you sweetheart, There is no other way."
By: Jo'Lene Tover
* "A gentle brush of his fingers, Sending shivers down my spine. In the love I see in his eyes, Is a love that equals mine. He greets me with a smile, And leaves me with a kiss. If he were to ever leave me, I couldn't imagine what I'd miss. Maybe it's his touch, Or the way he makes me feel.
But whatever it is, I'm head over heels."
By: Danyka A. Hoover

And there you have it, true, deep, love poems!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Tragedy Hits Home

Today is going to be a little bit different, I'm not going to put up just any old quotes today. My qoutes arn't going to be about happiness or love. My quotes are going to be rather sad or emotional, I don't really know how to word it. See a boy that I went to middle school with died on Tuesday the 10th, he was three months shy of graduation, he had a girlfriend, lots of friends, and lots of family. My condolenses go out to his family. Tyler Toll was a nice kid, he was pretty quiet from what I knew about him. Now I haven't seen him in years, but that doesn't change the fact that I know him. He was an eighteen year old boy, just like me, except I'm a girl, but any kid that dies at such a young age is a very devistating expeirence. I was at work when my mom called and told me that tyler had pssed away. It's kind of an out of body expeirence when you find out someone you know has died. The first thing that runs through your head is wow is he actually gone? How could a kid so young die? Who would allow a kid this young to die? You just have all these why's fill your head. You even have second thoughts about it not being real, I mean why would you wan something like this to be real. Your mind won't let it. And then eventually it will hit you that he's gone and it's overwhelming. Can you tell that I've gone through quite a few deaths in my life? Truth be told my step father died, and we were pretty close, closer than me and my actual father. I was completely devastated, and I still am. I think about him everyday. I don't understand why some of the best people in life have to die, but the good thing out of it is that they're going to a better place. I mean what else do I have to believe, I can only help for the best for the people that leave this world. There has to be something better out there; A place where no one hurts, feels pain, or cries. There has to be a place of complete happiness I truely believe that!

I dedicate this post to Tyler Toll and all his loved ones! And also to every person who has ever lost somebody so precious to them!

Blog About Bloging About Bloging

Yesterday we were asked to blog about blogging. What we may or may not like about blogging? Why we blog? What bloging actually means? What we think about blogging? And how things are different now then when we first started blogging? So I guess I will start with the first question and work my way through, maybe you can get to know me even just a little bit more through my answers.
Personally as a person I love to blog. Before I was told to blog for my class however I did not. Not cause I didn't want to blog or anything but because I didn't really know anything about it or how to even set it up.When we were given the assignment to start blogging however I was not dissapointed or angry about it. I welcomed the opportunity to blog and have like my own online journal. I have always been one to love any type of writing whether in school or on my own. Writing is who I am, and if we didn't have words we wouldn't have anything at all. So all in all I thought that blogging was a tremendous idea, especially for me. I rather write all my feelings and thoughts onto the internet into my own little blog rather sit around and writing in a journal or diary.
The reason why we blog, or what I've gotten out of it, is so that we build up our writing skills. And maybe use bigger words, you know broaden our horizons. And I would have to agree that blogging has helped me to type faster and to increase the amounts or harder words that use. I personally blog to put how I feel out there and show my love for poetry and writing. Blogging has been such a positive expeirence for me.
What does blogging mean? The definition answer for it is: "an online diary; a personal chronological log of thoughts published on a web page." Blogs are typically updated daily; and they usually reflect the personality of the blogger. A lot of people, in their blogs, post personal expeirences about themselves and sometimes even their favorite hobbies.
I think blogging is a good idea. It gives us kids and even adults a chance to say what ever you need to say or get out whatever emotion you need to get out. You can right whatever you want to and no one can really critisize you for it because they don't know you. You can tell the whole world about whatever you want and you know that it's all going to be okay. It's harder to tell someone you know something, than rather someone you don't know. Well at least in my opinion.
When I first started blogging I really didn't know what to expect or how much information about myself I should give out. And I didn't really get the whole idea of blogging, I didn't think that I should tell anybody about myself because I thought that somehow it would get back to me. You know what though, as I went along blogging I knew that I didn't have to talk about myself directly but that people could find out what kind of person I was through my writing and how I took my approaches and different topics. People can really see the true you through your writings and your beliefs!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

So Sick

It's been a moment since I've writen but I've had quite a bit of stuff going down in my. Have you ever woke up one morning and you feel like a new person , like everything around you is changing not neccessarily for the bad nor the good, but you get the feeling that things are going to be different from that momet on. Well about two weeks ago this happened to me. I felt like a new person like something new came over me. For the longest time I have been, I guess you could say trying to be something I'm not and I've been trying to get back to the true me. And the other day I woke up and I felt like that perso again, the person I once was and I have even been acting like her. And I have been super proud that I found that girl in me again. I'm sure everybody can relate.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Three Days: Party Time

This is the second day to my three days blog entry. In my love dies entry, you got to see the sad not so happy part of me. These three days represent three different me's or different parts of me at least. At first I was extremely sad, then I decided to get rid of the sadness and anger by partying, because we all know partying solves everyones problems. And yes that may be true, but t's only true the night that your partying, because lets face it you have to wake up the next day when it's not a party and feel all the problems that you had before, heck sometimes it's even worse. sometimes you get a hang-over on top of it and you did, and said something stupid the night before. Something so stupid that you have more problems then before you started partying. Anyway In order to bring the "happy me" back and drownded myself in friends because friends are truely my life support, I have so many that would have my back in a life or death situation and that's good to know. So today there won't be any sad depressing love poems, there will be happiness renewed poems. They will be poems about friends and well happiness.


~A Friend is Like A Flower: A friend is like a flower,a rose to be exact,Or maybe like a brand new gatethat never comes unlatched.A friend is like an owl,both beautiful and wise.Or perhaps a friend is like a ghost,whose spirit never dies.A friend is like a heart that goesstrong until the end.Where would we be in this worldif we didn't have a friend. - By Emma Guest

~Friends: As we walk our path of life,We meet people everyday.Most are simply met by chance.But, some are sent our way. These become special friendsWhose bond we can't explain;The ones who understand usAnd share our joy and pain. Their love contains no boundaries.So, even we are apart.Their presence enhances usWith a warmth felt in the heart. This love becomes a passageway,When even the miles disappear.And so, these friends, God sends our way,Remain forever near.

~A Special Friend: You've touched my heart,You've helped me through,My pain and sorrow,which weren't too few. You shared my smiles,and my tears.You were always there,to squelch my fears. To you my friend and confidant,I give my heart of love,My smiles of laughter,and the hope that,We will remain friends,forever and after.Cherished Friends God must have know there would be times we'd need a word of cheer,Someone to praise a triumph or brush away a tear.He must have known we'd need to share the joy of "little things"In order to appreciate the happiness life brings.I think He knew our troubled hearts would sometimes throb with pain,At trials and misfortunes, or goals we can't attain.He knew we'd need the comfort of an understanding heartTo give us strength and courage to make a fresh, new start.He knew we'd need companionship, unselfish....lasting....true,And so God answered the heart's great need with Cherished Friends....like you!!

And there we are with three very special poems! Special friendship poems I should say. In my life friends truely are everything, if I didn't have them I would have nothing!

Three Days: Love Dies

It's been quite awhile since I've written, and truth be told it's because I got a writers block. And I took some time off of school in which I probably shouldn't have. I guess I needed the time to think, to think about lots of things. Things such as what I want to do with my life, and where am I going with my life. And just a week ago I thought I had everything finally figured out in my life and I was set to go. But then a wrench was thrown into my gears, actually I wouldn't even call it a wrench more like a hammer. A huge hammer like 30 hammers, but anyway that's besides the point. The point is my life changed dramatically and now I'm back at the chalkboards, once again trying to reconstruct my life. It seems like I've been here so many times before. This time was different though, this time I actually felt like I had my life planned and figured out, I had never really had it that way to the exact before! And it was the most wonderful feeling for awhile, but lets just say it died. And I understand that life doesn't always go according to plan, that you can't always get what you want, and life is unfair; but for once I would have liked things to have worked out in my favor. My title represents three different types of days I'll be talking about, with three very different emotions being implicated. My title goes along with what I previously stated above.
Today I will be putting a couple sad poems in here and a couple sad quoted in here. And yes they will have to do with love, and failing love. Overall the work that I put in here today isn't going to be very happy, at least this day that's represented in my title.

~Would you just listen and please don't say a word, just yet,I'd like you to think back to the very first time we met,How you felt around me? The memories we shared,And just remember that once upon a time, you really cared.Now think about how we parted, and how much I cried,But please don't speak, remember that I never ever lied,That I told you the honest truth about why we were to split,But now I'd like you to know that my heart broke bit by bit.The pain was deep, unbearable and painful, for so many years,I'll never forget all the sadness, all the uncontrollable tears,Slowly I am rebuilding my life, I am content with what I've got,And although it is hard I am beginning to forget what I have not.You were a special part of my life that I will never forget, A part of my life that broke my heart, but that I don't regret,You gave me some happy memories that I'll keep in my heart,Although sometimes I wish that you and I didn't have to part.You were my first love and my true love, that will always be so,After all of the heartache, sadness and never ending pain, I know,You and I had something special and that will never change,Because I love you and loving someone else will always seem strange.Would you just listen and please don't say a word, not ever,I'd like you to remember that once upon a time, we said forever,That I had hopes and dreams, that I was the one who threw them away,And this is something I will always regret until my dying day. By: Tara Kay

~I once heard a story straight from the heartAbout a girl and how her world began to fall apartIt all started when she met the boy that made her life completeJust thinking of him made her heart skip a beatThey were the couple everyone wanted to beThere were no imperfections as either one could seeAs the weeks passed they fell more in love and were less awareOf how often life turns out to be unfairUntil one day she finally gave inShe realized there was no way she could winShe said I'm sorry but i have to let you goAs he reached for her hand she pulled away whispering noWhen she turned around a tear slid down her cheekHe just stood there speechless, forgetting how to speakThe next few days were the hardest at homeShe truly felt she was all aloneHer mom pushed in her face how she had wonHer dad said "i knew he was just another one"Her sister said "come on you'll be ok"And her brother just tried to stay awayAt school it was like her friends weren't even thereNone of them seemed to really careHer life had no more color, just black and whiteEven getting out of bed turned into a fightDespite their tries things just weren't like beforeThen he decided "i don't wanna try anymore"At that she tried to cut him outBut the more she ignored him the more her feelings began to shoutWhen she saw him that day she could no longer just walk byAnd before she knew it her mouth opened up and out came "hi"He looked up and said "so now we're talking?"She just smiled and join his walkingEveryday they talked a little moreAnd everyday she began to like him a little less then beforeAs the months passed by she became more and more awareAbout how its ok life's unfairBecause eventually everything becomes your pastBut your memories will always lastAnd with that i hope you seeNot all love is meant to beBut hold on and don't give inStand tall, hold up your chinAnd believe me when i sayThe right one will come one dayHe'll open your eyes to things you couldn't ever seeI know this because..this is a story all about me... By: IAmWhoIAm

~I looked into her eyesI got lost in their depthA glance into the futureRevealing the secrets she keptFor so many years she cared tooYet we were both afraid to sayWe avoided each other completely...Every time, simply another dayShe cried to me one night.~Please help, I don't know what to do~I wrapped my arms around her body.~It is okay now, I'm here with you~She told me about her boyfriend,He cheated, and hurt her bad...I told her not to worry...But in the inside I was getting mad.I held back my anger...And I comforted her instead.Playing with her hair,She lay still on my bed.I leaned over to kiss her cheek,She smiled and turned to me.~Thank you for being there...I Have finally learned to see~With that she drifted off,I left her quietly sleeping.~How could anyone want to hurt her? ~I ran through thoughts, my heart leaping.I met up with her boyfriend,Swung out of pure love and rage.A knife stabbed through my stomach..~God where were you today?~My head smacking onto the pavement,My breath getting thin...My vision blurred and fading slowly...This was a battle I could never win.As this darkness consumes me...Light fills my eyes...I am proud to have lost my life,If it meant ending her cries... By: Tyler Mac Donald

These poems are truely very sad love poems, but that is exactly what I was looking for. These three poets did an extremely good job and should be recognized for it. I truely do appresiate a good poet. Poetry has always been a huge part of my life. I really get to express the words on paper that I cannot say aloud and that means a lot to me. And I'm sure these poets feel the exact same way.